Shit reddit says is the shit

I love Shit Reddit says

Shit reddit says changed my life

It gave me a fedora made out of solid gold*

——-

Post was originally in Shitlordese and has been translated for your enjoyment!

Junot Diaz is a real talk-spitting, Pulitzer Prize-winning, MacArthur Genius Grant-having creative writing professor at MIT. Go read his stuff and get smart.

Junot Diaz is a real talk-spitting, Pulitzer Prize-winning, MacArthur Genius Grant-having creative writing professor at MIT. Go read his stuff and get smart.

eastafrodite:

liberalism believes a muslim woman’s biggest oppressor is her hijab and not military intervention, drone strikes, institutionalized sexism/misogyny, capitalism, imperialism, u.n. enforced sanctions, etc.

What if all women were bigger and stronger than you? And thought they were smarter? What if women were the ones who started wars? What if too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos and no K-Y Jelly? What if the state trooper who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike was a woman and carried a gun? What if the ability to menstruate was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs? What if your attractiveness to women depended on the size of your penis? What if every time women saw you they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands? What if women were always making jokes about how ugly penises are and how bad sperm tastes? What if you had to explain what’s wrong with your car to big sweaty women with greasy hands who stared at your crotch in a garage where you are surrounded by posters of naked men with hard-ons? What if men’s magazines featured cover photos of 14-year-old boys with socks tucked into the front of their jeans and articles like: “How to tell if your wife is unfaithful” or “What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate” or “The truth about impotence”? What if the doctor who examined your prostate was a woman and called you “Honey”? What if you had to inhale your boss’ stale cigar breath as she insisted that sleeping with her was part of the job? What if you couldn’t get away because the company dress code required you wear shoes designed to keep you from running? And what if after all that women still wanted you to love them?
For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, Carol Diehl. (via ashemo)
Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

Rev. Pat Robertson (via edwardjobrien)

eastafrodite: Whiteness- a political, societal and institutional structure of racial hierarchy that generally puts white people at the top, whereas PoC are aligned in accordance to their intersectionality (class, race, skin color, gender identity, sexuality, etc).

Example- a lighter skinned non-denominational Latin@, although she is still lives on the bottom ranks of the kyriarchy, will have an easier time coasting through life than a dark skinned Black Muslimah.

White people- people who are white.

These two things don’t neccesarily have to live in unison. If you at anytime find yourself upset when people talk about whiteness, you’re conflating yourself with it and ultimately a piece in the puzzle of oppression. There’s no other reason to feel slighted by people who discuss their struggles living under a white supremacist society unless you’re harboring guilt or feel you’re exploiting your privilege.

eastafrodite just gave yall a free 101 lecture. Take notes. There will be a test.

[…] Either way, SRS has ended up being something of a bizarro-reddit. Think about what happens when a video or story of a woman/minority acting badly comes up on reddit. The comments are always full of people saying shit like “This is why I feel X about this minority”, “the stereotypes keep justifying themselves”, and on and on. Obviously it’s not every comment, but that sentiment tends to be very widespread and quite well supported with upvotes. Furthermore, when people try to say how much they’re offended by these offensive sentiments they’re commonly shouted down, told “it’s just a joke”, and that they should basically just “get over it”.

SRS does this to the prototypical “average redditor” and turns it up a few notches. The effect is that when prototypical redditors go to SRS they (understandably) get upset, but they fail to realize that the “SRS-experience” for them is actually fairly close to the “Reddit-experience” (or maybe even the “whole world experience”) for minorities.

The fact that SRS makes so many redditors SO UPSET should be cause for some introspection in the reddit community. It’s clearly very upsetting when people make fun of our demographic, so maybe we should be doing a lot less of that ourselves.

failedriposte on male Redditors and the Friendzone

"Has anyone ever seen a male Redditor complain that their guy friends don’t have sex with them, even though they bought them that six pack for their birthday? Or gave them a ride to class once when it was raining? Or commiserated with them when they were going through a tough time? Do they ever say, "Gosh, he’s really taking me through the emotional wringer — complaining about how there’s no one out there for him, cancelling our gaming sessions to go meet up with that new girl he met, not returning my texts immediately… Doesn’t he know how NICE I’ve been? What about MY needs? I’m RIGHT here! Why doesn’t he see it?"

They never expect their guy friends to do anything in return for their “niceness.” And yet, as soon as a woman is involved, the ONLY acceptable response to all the basic civilities of friendship involves penis. Anything less is selfish, manipulative and my, oh my, just ever so inconsiderate.

The idea of the “Friend zone” is, without an ounce of doubt or pound of dubiety, the biggest mess of puerile nonsense I’ve ever had the misfortune of coming across. Anyone who believes in it is so incredibly and painfully immature that they don’t deserve the company of others to begin with — and needs to own up to the fact that they believe on a fundamental level that men and women are incapable of friendship. And then stop pretending that they actually care about the women they spend time with. There’s no such thing as “friend zoning.” There’s only friendship.

"Friend zone" is nothing more than a particularly vile attempt to make people who feel entitled to sex feel like the victim when a woman they like makes the ‘mistake’ of assuming she’s found a friend."

http://www.reddit.com/r/ShitRedditSays/comments/swbyw/she_wants_to_trust_you_and_feel_safe_with_you_but/c4hkm6y

The LADY is my she-pherd; I shall not want.

She maketh me to circlejerk in green pastures: she leadeth me beside the shitlords.

She restoreth my internetpointz: she leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for her name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of ASRS, I will fear no PUA: for thou art with me; thy dildz and thy bens they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with sour cream; my divacup runneth over.

Surely SRD and ASRS shall follow me all the days of my life: but I will dwell in the house of the LADY for ever.

Our Mothers who art in SRS

Hallowed be thy names

Thy queendom come, thy dildz be done

On Reddit, as it is in the Fempire

Give us this day our daily quesedilla

And forgive us our spermjacking

As we forgive those who downvote against us

And lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from AntiSRS

Awomyn

It's political correctness gone mad!
cumdogbillionaire: if i found a genie lamp and he gave me three wishes all three would be to remove the term 'politcal correctness' from the english language
bdubaya: If you had a genie lamp, I'd say, "hit me with your genie's bottle. Rub it all over me."
cumdogbillionaire: nah u wouldn't even get a sniff of my alpha's lamp
After the first Pedogeddon, Reddit had a chance to reform itself and take a stance against peddling child pornography. They didn’t take it.

sarcelle